Sunday, June 16, 2013

Dairy entry 11 : 24-Jun-2012


Dear Ira , Rudra and Kapil,

Today I let go of every relation with you all. I give up today to try to have a happy family with you. I am tired to keep hope alive for a happy family with a loving husband and 2 sweet kids. 

I want to let go of dream to sit in our garden watching Ira and Rudra play , while I and Kapil sit and have tea.

I let go it all.

While none of you may believe , I really had put lot of effort to see this dream come true . But some dreams are meant to be just dreams . 

I free my Heart from all Hope and Hurt .

I let go all , I have nothing more to loose today .

I am sad but relieved that I no longer will feel any pain and no hurt.

All my life I was attached to you 2 little kids , imagined in my life. And then Kapil came and it was a happy family of 4.
I always clinged on to that dream of happy family inspite of all troubles.
This is the only thing I was attached to in my life . 
Today I let go of it too !!

I know I cannot be a better wife and I don't think I can be a good Mother.
Today I am with nothing in my life but I feel lighter too .
No strings attached to anyone . It does hurt to break these strings , but sometimes we have to stop getting ourself hurt everyday.

Good bye loved ones , I set you and myself free from this bond.
may you find a bette home in your life . I was probably not good enough for anyone of you.


This diary ends here !!! 

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